Bond-a-thon

James Bond has seen some action in his day. I spent a lot of time over the holidays watching the varios Bond-a-thons, and it never ceases to amaze me how many separate women he sleeps with in a movie.

The rules for getting boned by Bond are as follows.

1. If Bond sexes up an agent that’s sent to report on him or assist him in travel, she’ll be dead within 15 minutes.

2. If Bond sleeps with an A or B list actress not on the poster, she’ll be the villain or the villain’s girlfriend. Bond will wind up killing her personally.

3. If Bond bones a cocktail waitress or massage therapist who only smiles and responds to his cheesy pick up lines, she’s safe.

4. If Bond bangs Moneypenny, it’s a dream sequence or a virtual reality training simulation.

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