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Tree Pollen

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I hate spring. I have what pharmaceutical commercials call, “seasonal allergies” and whenever I go outside I feel like I’ve been shot in the face by whatever plant is growing, mostly trees. I know trees (probably) don’t have a thought process or emotions, but it damn well seems like they hate me and enjoy seeing me emit fluids from every hole in my face. Those smug tree bastards think they are so cool, sprouting flowers and growing leaves.

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